Three friends sat in the room. “Like a good neighbor State Farm is there…with some bacon!” chipped the first friend. Then, ex nihilo, an attractive female State Farm agent appeared with a tray of sizzling bacon on the table.
“And a cherry soda” said the second friend with a laugh. And lo, there cherry soda appeared on the table. He grabbed the soda and drunk it half of it right there. “Ahhh finally I am quenched.” he remarked cheerfully.
The third friend then spoke with a smile, “And with Kali, the Hindu goddess of death.” The agent stopped and stared wide-eyed at the third man, “N-no, what have you done?!” she shrieked. A prodigious black mass bubbled from the floor, “I AM COME TO REAVE WITH FIRE AND BLOOD.”
The agent screamed as the first man’s head exploded. The agent grabbed her own head in horror. Her eyes dripped down her shirt and mingled with the blood on the floor.
The second man’s forehead twisted itself into a second mouth and spoke,”oh wow, man lol.” Blood gushed from the walls and cracks in the ceiling, filling the room. The third man cackled in hysteria, “Finally” he said with a mad glint, “I am quenched.”